Substitution Time: Salad Dressing

Alright, my fellow Fruities. Let’s all admit it now: what the hell to do about salads has us baffled, right? I know. How weird is it to turn down salads because they have strawberries or oranges or blueberries? But hey! We’re resilient and resourceful. We’re a bunch of smarty smarts. Salad with no fruit? No sweat!

Except… 

Raise your hand if this is your brain thinking about salads. Ready? 

Okay, I can have the salad, but crap, the salad dressing is a vinaigrette, which likely is olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Okay, so I can make my own with canola oil and rice vinegar. Except, dangit, I had potato for lunch, which means I can’t have the rice vinegar, so now what? Oh, hey, thanks, Sally, for suggesting I use lemon juice in place of the vinegar, but that might actually hurt worse in the long run. Okay, so what’s in the ranch dressing? Sugar, vinegar, MSG, sorbic acid. What the hell is sorbic acid? Well, crap. It’s a fruit derivative (European Mountain Ash berries). Blue cheese?  Vinegar. Also, mayo, which is lemon juice and, possibly olive oil. I can make my own but even if I use white vinegar, that’s still a grain, and I can’t do that if I’ve had potatoes and you know what? Just forget it.

Yes? Anybody willing to cop to a few choice swear words, too?

So we’re all in this salad thing together. Jeez, Louise, it seriously presents a weird paradox: one of the most healthful things we can do is eat a salad, but between the fruit and the dressing, it’s almost impossible. 

I’m either about to make your day or make you very irritated with me and take away your excuse for not eating salads. I’m talking about oils. Lucious, toasty, tasty oils. Not long after my diagnosis I stood in the oil/vinegar aisle at Chuck’s Produce and I got super frustrated thinking about all the stuff I couldn’t have. And then I noticed these different colored cans with white lids. They were toasted nut oils. I was intrigued. I went home with a can of toasted walnut oil, toasted almond oil, and toasted hazelnut oil.

In my frustration, I also bought a pre-made bagged salad. I don’t know about you, but when I’m frustrated my stubbornness kicks into high gear and drags laziness along for the ride. I ripped open the bag and plunked some salad into a bowl. Then I opened the can of almond oil and drizzled it, no vinegar, no seasonings, no herbs, nothing. Just straight out of the can. And you know what? It was freaking amazing. Next salad, I tried the hazelnut. Oh, holy toasted filberts, Batman! 

You won’t use as much as you think you need, so it will stretch longer than you realize. The first time I did it, I eyeballed about a tablespoon, and it was way too much. My salad was almost greasy, and the nut flavor overpowered it. Start with a tiny bit, mix your salad, taste, then drizzle a teeny bit more if you need to. Go easy. The lid is a big pour spout, so you could easily dump a lot out. 

Does it cost a little more? Yep. But I kind of feel like if I have to give up all this other stuff, I’m going to splurge a little and spoil myself. The ones I bought are a brand called La Tourangelle. I’m sure there are probably other brands, but get this: they have a whole line of oils, include roasted pistachio oil, toasted pumpkin seed oil, and roasted pecan oil. Oh lordy, lordy, lordy! And they even sell canola oil in pump bottles. Yep. You can buy them in their La Tourangelle online store.

Give it a try. You’ll have those olive oil eaters kale green with envy!